New Recruit Processing and Acclimation Center

The New Recruit Processing and Acclimation Center where applicants for the Dominion Armed Forces are given a written test designed to gauge their reaction and adaptation to stressful situations. Following the test, a recruit is assigned to a specific squad or unit and given instruction on when and where to report for active duty.

Question 1
''While driving your vulture hoverbike down the dusty back roads of the planet Shiloh, you see a hitchhiker. What do you do?''


 * Pick him up.
 * Keep on truckin'.
 * The Dominion has outlawed hitchhiking and offers a substantial reward for reporting this transgression. Turn him in and collect the reward.
 * Flick my cigar at his face as I rocket by at 90 mph.

Question 2
''Your dropship crash lands in the wastes of Mar Sara. There are three of you and there is only enough water for two. What do you do?''

The others won't need water. They "died in the accident." *wink*
 * Try to ration the water as best we can.
 * Real men only drink Scotty Bolger's anyway.
 * Take a vote, light a fire, and sing some songs.

Question 3
''Your mother gives you a sonic toothbrush for your birthday, but what you really wanted was a gauss rifle. What do you do?''


 * Pretend I love sonic toothbrushes.
 * Remember... there's always re-gifting.
 * Yell "I told you a gauss rifle, mom!" then run out of the room.
 * Smash the toothbrush in front of her.

Question 4
''You've got plans to go to Bacchus Moon with your friends this weekend, when the foreman calls you back to the vespene refinery. What do you do?''


 * Bacchus Moon can wait. I've got work to do.
 * Bacchus Moon it is! The vespene gas will be there on Monday.
 * Get 'er done as soon as possible and try to go to Bacchus Moon by Sunday.
 * Bacchus Moon is a hub of illegal activity and vice... why would I go there?

Question 5
''You’re alone in the desert and you see a tortoise laying on its back, belly baking in the hot sun. It can’t flip over, not without your help, but you’re not helping. Why is that?''


 * Is this a test?
 * I like turtles!
 * I want to see it squirm.
 * What do you mean I’m not helping?!

Question 6
''You have been captured by the infamous terrorist Jim Raynor, and will now surely be tortured. What do you do?''


 * Try to appeal to his humanity.
 * Tolerate anything for the Dominion. "Thank you sir, may I have another?"
 * Beyond a certain pain threshold I'll just pass out.
 * No pain, no gain! Besides, who said torture was a bad thing?!

Question 7
''The outlaw Jim Raynor robs a bank. As he makes his getaway, he drops a bag full of credits. You...


 * Report the incident to the nearest Dominion officer.
 * Return the credits to the bank.
 * Credits? What credits? *wink*
 * Donate it to Farm Aid.

Question 8
''On the outskirts of Korhal you see some drunkards bullying an innocent civilian. You...

Join the bullying. Sometimes civilians need to be put in their place.
 * Find the nearest Dominion officer and report the incident.
 * Pop open a can of whoop-ass!
 * Flick a cigar at them and run.

Question 9
''You see squatters setting up in a nearby abandoned supply depot. You...


 * Report the incident. Squatting has been outlawed by the Dominion.
 * Let them crash at my place.
 * Vagrants are known disease carriers. Sneak in one night and vaccinate them while they're asleep.
 * Ignore them and hope they go away.
 * Purge the dirty hovel with cleansing fire.

Question 10
''You see a bird chirping loudly on a nearby comsat station. What is the first word that comes to your mind?''


 * Pretty.
 * Freedom.
 * Target.
 * Nuisance.

Question 11
''In your home in the middle of the night, you're awoken by a man claiming to be a Dominion officer. He requests your help. What's the first question that comes to mind?''


 * Orders, sir?
 * Is anyone hurt?
 * Is this person really who he says he is?
 * Whaddya want? Hint: It better be good.
 * Ignore the officer and go back to sleep

Question 12
''You're relaxing in a cantina when a fight escalates next to you. How does this make you feel?''


 * Itchy! Violence gives me hives.
 * Prepared. I brought my gauss rifle.
 * Irritated. They're interrupting my "me" time. End the fight quickly and return to my seat.
 * Afraid. I just wet myself.

Results
A recruit can be sorted into the following classes:

Firebat
''Well, look who has an appetite for destruction… or self-destruction. We'd just as soon incarcerate your kind for recklessly endangering our way of life, but we trust your insatiable desire to incinerate living things will prove valuable on the battlefield after a bit of "resoc" on Korhal IV. Never heard of it? It's like a vacation for the mind. Report to the nearest barracks at 0600 tomorrow morning, as we want you to don the CMC-660 Heavy Combat Suit and go light up some bad guys. So long as you go where you're told, you'll have your chance to quench that carnal, destructive thirst of yours. Go wild. Show the enemy what happens when they denounce the emperor's authority. Your questionable ethics and lust for destruction make you the ideal candidate for the Dominion's firebats!''